KritzKast #439: Legendary, part 1

Posted on: Oct 8th 2017 by Agro

wait4itAfter months of predictions that TF2 would have its massive update on October 6th…. we can finally report, that the wait is over, and it is legendary.

Everything we’ve ever hoped for and more. So much more, in ways that we were unexpected and delightful. So much so that we’re just going to have to release it in chunks. Hot messing chunks that will rot your inners and mess with your minds.

Full length stand alone comic book

  • Written by DC’s Hope Larson
  • Used to introduce the female classes into the game.

TF2 Motion Picture

  • Created in association with Pixar
  • Full length -1:35:00
  • Budget exceeded Toy Story 2 and Cars 2 added together
  • Former Saxxy Winners used in the credits.

100s of new and updated weapons

  • Including all-class steak knives
  • Can be used in conjunction with Heavy’s food based taunts

Fixed Spy class

  • Facestabs now cause Spy to take self damage
  • Backstab now only works on actual spine
  • Backstab now takes only 99% of target’s health

Fixed Scout class

  • Scout is now a true “class cannon”. Starts out with 15 HP. So much as landing funny will shatter him

Fixed Pyro class

  • New IP Stack to reflect now works like you’re at LAN
  • Flame’s cone-of damage is much more predictable.
  • New flamethrower
  • Does less damage
  • Slows other classes
  • Axtinguisher returned to full glory
  • Pyro gets incendiary grenades – cannot be washed off

Fixed Soldier class

  • Using market gardener will instigate a permanent VAC ban on user.

Fixed Demo

  • Takes DoT from explosions
  • Drink to gain extra flight time, can no longer walk straight
  • Bottle now has 1 in 10,000 chance to smash
  • Will have bleed effect on Demo and target

Matchmaking fixed

  • Matchmaking fixed
  • Now only play with people of similar skill level and experience
  • Meme-ing and BM causes your queue length to get significantly longer
  • Three international championships will be funded by Valve.
  • HL | 6s | RGL  
  • Finals hosted in a different city each year – like the Olympics, only good
  • Invite teams will be flown there / accommodation provided
  • Teams / Casting Groups / Podcasts will receive their own in-game items/skins to help support them
  • Must have been covering TF2 for at least 8 years to qualify

 

2 Comments 

Rebel Alley

08/10/17

I’m so impressed with this episode I feel like I have to give it a full review. What a deceptively brilliant idea. This episode is the natural progression of being a TF2 player in 2017: the need for actual attention to be paid to the game and the blind hope for an update so strong that eventually you just make one up. It was a more enjoyable listen than I was expecting because the whole thing was played amazingly straight. Agro in particular did a great job of committing; it felt like listening to any other update episode. I was also impressed with how serious the discussion got around these wacky updates; the actual implications being discussed around the Source 2 port and Market Gardener VAC ban were more insightful than they had any right to be, and the 68 minute running time was entirely justified. Kind of takes me back to the Invasion days :’)

Bafo

10/10/17

oh my god

Leave a comment

LIVE NOW! CLICK TO VIEW.
Waiting for Pyro update